Monday, April 14, 2008

Curb Appeal


My dog, Chloe, does this thing that annoys the crap out of me. We will go for walks in the morning around the apartment community, and she refuses to walk in the grass because she doesn't want to get her feet wet. Instead, she walks on the curb, only giving in when she absolutely has to. She can get away with this, because she is tiny (7lbs.), I humor her, and because she is a brat.

I realized the other morning, during our walk, that I have been doing the exact same thing. Yes, God... I have been standing on the curb, afraid to get my feet wet... Completely freaked out by what You may have in store for me. Resisting acceptance of Jesus. Afraid to hear what You want me to hear or to do what you want me to do. I have been dipping my toes into the water for so long, that I have forgotten (or basically put off accepting) that an actual plunge is imminent. I am standing on the edge.

I have been trying to wrap my "black and white" brain around my spiritual growth for so long, that I neglected to realize that I already had God in my heart. I have never understood how people claim to "hear" what God is telling them. Then I had this epiphony... I have given in. I have accepted Him. The shades of gray that my brain won't allow have been in my heart for so long, I can almost taste them.

Alright, God. What do you want from me??

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from insideI
am ready
I am fine

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine
~Counting Crows

I have begun a new project, with the support of some great friends. Thanks for the support ladies. I don't know if you will ever truly know how much I love you!!!

I will keep everyone updated on this... If it goes the way that I am hoping, it will be fabulous.

2 comments:

Elaine said...

I think Alicia will say she told you so on this post. I'm so excited for you! Honestly, you should pray that God would show me where I need to jump in with both feet - I know I'm doing all the right things, but I feel like I should be jumping in somewhere and I don't know where yet.

Kerry said...

Yeah, please keep the "I told you so" to a minimum!!!