Today we had Elaine's (McVey) baby shower. Terri came up with a little project where you give advice to the mom-to-be. Some of this advice was really interesting. We have this first-time mom, and a room full of women, all telling her what to do, when, and how to do it. Then you have the handful of women with no kids. All telling her what to do, when, and how to do it. There was a very strange dynamic going on there, but the whole exercise was interesting. This made me think of my mom. Although, Mother's Day has come and gone (no, I didn't send flowers this year), I realized that I don't thank my mom for enough of what she does and has done for me.
My mom does this thing every Sunday. She takes a 30 minute drive to buy a newspaper two towns over from where she lives. Mom lives in North Port, Florida. If you don't know where this is, it's about mid-way between Sarasota and Fort Myers, on the Gulf Coast. Mom says that in North Port, she can't get the paper that tells her what is going on in Sarasota. Therefore, she has to do this drive every week to get her newspaper. I think that she gets a lot of joy out of this routine. Even with gas prices as high as they are, she still does this every week. During her drive, she makes phone calls. I hate that she drives and talks on the phone at the same time. (Honestly, mom doesn't have the best eyesight and the thought of her diverting her attention from driving by talking on the phone makes me kind of nervous.) So, this morning I got the infamous 'Sunday morning paper run' phone call.
Mom made me smile this morning. I wasn't entirely sure of how she felt about me leaving the country next year. She asked me how my research was going. I told her about the different organizations that I have been looking into. Mom told me that she was really excited about my project. She is really proud of me. She has said this to me before, but I was never really sure of how much she meant it until today. She said that she admires the fact that I am going after something that I really believe in. She asked me what I was going to do after two years. Would I come home again?
Mom... I can't knowingly sit behind a computer for 9 hours a day and do nothing about the problems in the world, when there is absolutely nothing keeping me in Raleigh, North Carolina. My friends and church will be here when I get back. I can always find a job, somewhere, doing something. I have to let God guide me on this. I have to know that I have done everything that I can do to be productive in this world. Sitting behind a computer, crunching numbers, writing letters and e-mails, answering to "the man" is getting me nowhere. THIS is not the life that I want to live. I can do more. I want to do more. I need to do more.
I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shinny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
~Everclear
Mom always said that there was money for each of us to use when we got married toward a wedding. We talked for a few minutes about me using this money to support myself when I move overseas. Of course, there will be further discussion on this subject. I am happy that I finally brought it up, because the whole subject of money makes me nervous in general. Mom said that they would definitely be supporting me in some way, but she wants to make sure that I am really not getting married. It's not that I don't want to get married, but right now men, dating, relationships are all a distraction from what is really important to me. This is not to say that I don't want to date. I would love to date. I just need to keep my priorities straight.
Side note: I have been going to the gym and started running. I am hoping to be able to run a mile within 2 months. I know that this doesn't seem like a lot, but it is to me.
