Am I A Christian?

But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. ~1 Samuel 12:24


Okay, I admit it. I am struggling with the whole "Christianity" thing. I don't know what I am. I mean, I don't know the 'title' of what I am. I may need some guidance on this. I have been fighting the title of 'Christian' for a long time. I really hate the negative connotations that go with the title.

So, what is my challenge?? Here it is: Am I A Christian??
This is what it's all about... isn't it?? The answer to this question.

A Christian is a person who adheres to Christianity, a monotheistic[1] religion centered on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ as presented in the New Testament[2] and interpreted by Christians to have been prophesied in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament[3].

Someone asked recently asked me if I was a Christian, and I didn't really know how to answer. My standard answer used to fall under the 'No, I haven't been baptized' realm. This would open up a can of worms (I mean discussion), which would always leave me wondering how it is that everyone was so sure about their faith.

One of the questions on the application for OasisUK is "When did you become a Christian?" I have been avoiding this question like the plague. I don't know if I am a Christian. One of the reasons that I love Evergreen so much is that I went in there as an agnostic and was allowed to grow and explore the path that I have been on for the past 3 or so years. This has not been an easy path. There have been rocks, and sticks, and boulders falling from the sky. Birds have swooped down and tried to eat my hair. Okay, not really... but I am hoping that you are following me here. I have been asked three times over the past three years if I want to be baptized. I have not yet been baptized. I wanted to be sure that I was on the right path before I made this decision. I wanted to make sure that God and I were on the same page.

“Emergent” is a loosely knit group of people in conversation about and trying experiments in forwarding the ministry of Jesus in new and different ways, as the people of God in a post-Christian context. From there, wide diversity abounds. “Emergents” seem to share one common trait: disillusionment with the organized, institutional church as it has existed through the 20th century (whether fundamentalist, liberal, megachurch, or tall-steeple liturgical). Its strengths: creative, energetic, youthful, authentic, highly relational. Its weaknesses: somewhat cynical, disorganized, sometimes reckless (even in the theological ideas willing to be entertained), immature[1]

I have been having a debate with myself over what it means to be an 'Emerging Christian'. I believe that I fall under this category. I am comfortable in my relationship with God. I am aware that it is constantly growing. I know that Jesus was this amazing man. I know that the teachings of Jesus brought people to God. I know all of these things. So, I constantly wonder where all of this knowledge leaves me. I wonder if delayed acquisition of this knowledge is the cause of some of my downfalls in life. Was I being punished? Truthfully, it doesn't matter anymore. I can't change the past. I can only live for today. I can plan for tomorrow. But I can't change what I screwed up yesterday. I am okay with this.

I look to the skies and ask am i getting it right am i getting it done--

did i learn to walk or stay on the run--

is life that fast-that i forget to rest-

or does it mean that much to know i' m the best-

i look to the skies and shout out loud am i who i am or am i just to damn proud-

i look for a single flower or a simple sign-

what is yours and what is mine--

when it has all been said and done do i really think i am the one---

will it all be for a not --

or did i ever see and now forgot-

i look to the skies and ask--

give me a sign or show me a task-

is my life for the cup- or is it a flask-

i look to the skies and say is my life forever or just another day-

i look to the skies and say-

i never look at the garden i am in -just a single flower today- i look to the skies--

i look to the skies and say--- just show me the way.

~david moonlight