Monday, July 14, 2008

Trapped

Jesus came to free you. You need to let him do it. ~Matt Brown

I think that we forget that we were not put on this earth to just exist, but to live. I work all the time. At least I feel like I work all the time. I want to quit my jobs. Actually, only one of them. Ironically, it's the one that is supposed to be fun.
I need to keep my head on straight. I need to realize that I have goals ahead of me that are going to be lived out. I need to keep my priorities straight. I am covered and challenged with distractions these days. It's getting harder and harder to keep them at arm's length.

The truth is that I am completely terrified of failing at this project. The closer the time comes to turn in applications, defend my decisions, speak to folks at Oasis about placement... the more freaked out I get. I think that at this point, I just want to run away from home.

I am not feeling my freedom. I know that it's out there. I just don't know where to find it. It makes me sad and annoyed that I have to give up my life and create a new one to discover true freedom. We are held down by bills, obligations, debt, family, friends. Negativity is everywhere. Negativity is keeping me captive. I need to break the chains.

1 comment:

Elaine said...

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." Martha Beck.
Maybe you'll fail. Maybe you'll succeed. Most likely, you'll fail in some ways and succeed in others.
How do you define "success" in this context? What is the point of your journey? You, and you alone, define what is success and what is failure.
And remember, this isn't about you. It's about you and God, partnering up to kick some injustice in the ass!