Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'm A Big Jerk


Have you ever said something that you meant in the best way, but then about 8 seconds after you say it you realize that the filter that connects your brain to your mouth has malfunctioned? Yeah. This is my life.

A friend, who underestimates how much she is adored, has made mention of some concerns recently. Of course, her concerns are my concerns. This is the bain of my existence... nobody suffers alone. Basically, I have made a little file in my head with this friend's name on it (as I find that I do with a lot of people) and tucked away all of the things said that there would be little to no concern about. Hence, a large concern came to surface. I brought something up that was absolutely none of my business. To make it worse, I brought it up in the lovely, abrupt way that I do things. After what I said came out of my mouth, I was so appalled by my words that I think that my brain actually shut down. I can't remember what the response was to what I had said. So, the next day... I am beating myself up over something that may or may not have been misconstrewed and made worse than it was originally intended to be.

I feel like a crappy friend. All I can do now is ask for this person's forgiveness, and hope that she realizes what a jackass her friend is... and that no harm was intended.

I tried to find some kind of bible verse about being a crappy friend... but I couldn't find one in the method that I use to search the Bible. All of the verses that I found on 'forgiveness' have to do with blood. So, I decided to pick a completely random verse that has absolutely nothing to do with this situation at all... just for effect.

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.~Leviticus 19:18

Okay, so it has a little to do with the situation.
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you
~Evanescence

Please forgive me friend... I meant no harm. I love you.

2 comments:

Elaine said...

Sometimes we have to just trust our friends to make good decisions for themselves without our input. This is an insanely difficult skill, but it makes a WORLD of difference in relationships. I discovered this skill when I was 26. I've been trying to practice it ever since.

Alicia said...

How about this one...
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12-14

Your friend loves you and I'm sure she knows you love her. :)