The issue of judgement has been popping up around me at least twice a day for the past few weeks, and I guess that its time that I come to terms with what I have been judgemental about. Being inspired by a good friend who is dealing with her judgement issues, I am sitting at work today with lots of little negative thoughts in my head about the people around me.
Yesterday, I offered someone some chocolate chips that I keep in my desk, in the event of a chocolate emergency. She didn't want them because they are vegan chocolate chips. This pissed me off, as I was trying to do something nice and I felt like I was being judged (not for the first time) by this person for being vegan. She says that she doesn't like vegan food. Then I asked her if she likes Oreos (VEGAN!!!).
We have a new person in our department. Our trainer (who I consider a friend) is in pretty tight with the big bosses... she constantly criticizes herself for being "the favorite". My thought... quit your bitching. We all know that you will be our supervisor someday, and hopefully I will be in India by that time.
I like to use my vacation time at my leisure... afterall, it's my vacation time. There is a person at work who always criticizes people for using chunks of their vacation time. She has three kids and likes to roll hers over to sick time. I have no kids, and don't have to do that... so stop with the jealousy that I can actually take a vacation.
A woman at work has extremely loose morals... like loose... like gross loose... like gossiping everyone knows her business loose. Not only this, but she isn't a nice person. She is actually a complete bitch. Yeah, I don't know what to do with this one because I have tried repeatedly to be nice to her and it's a giant waste of time. I believe that God will forgive me for this one because I have actually made serious efforts to be nice to this person.
The same person who is against my chocolate chips is also against anyone who doesn't speak English. She was in the Army for a long time and lived overseas for quite a few years. I asked her if she can speak the languages of any of the places that she lived. Her answer was no. Interesting, huh??
My friend let me down this week. I am easily disappointed when people don't follow through on things that they tell me that they are going to do. It wasn't that I was upset for me, but for my cause. This person has asked me several times about my cause for the India trip, and yet didn't show up for the information that was given out this week. I made it out that they didn't care, which I am sure isn't true.
Another friend keeps telling me how she is so envious that I am doing this or that. Well, what's stopping you? Don't put me on a pedestal.
I want the people that I care about to follow their dreams. It took me forever to get up the courage to follow mine. I get angry at people who complain about things and don't make any effort to change them. I get annoyed when someone says, "I wish I could... but..." But nothing!! We live in a society that makes everything easy. Everything is convenient and handed to us in these pretty little boxes. I am not saying that some things aren't difficult. But look at our world. We have running water, cable TV, internet access, air conditioning. I don't know one person who doesn't own a car. I can't think of a person that I know that doesn't have education available to them. I actually feel guilty sometimes, because I have come home from places like Ukraine and fallen back into the comforts of being an American.
So yeah, the judgement is there. I have to fight it. I have to understand where others are coming from. But when I come across complete disregard for personal choice (for example, my vegan ism), I become completely enraged. RRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!
I am judged.
I also judge.
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