Yesterday, I said goodbye to someone who I have grown to love very much. Crystal is leaving tomorrow evening for Peru. She and Rob (her man) have decided to just pack up and head to South America to see what happens. Today, I am living vicariously through Crystal. Not because she gets to leave the States before me, but because she has the courage to leave for no other reason than to leave. She has no purpose in Peru right now than to live. How friggin' cool is that??
I have been thinking a lot about what will happen when my trip to India comes to a close. I don't know why I am hung up on something that is so ridiculously far in the future, but I am. Where will I go? Where will I live? Will I return to Raleigh?? For some reason, I feel that once I leave the country that I won't be returning. And I'm not sure if I should find peace in this or be completely freaked out by it.
I think that I am amazed at Crystal's bravery. I know her plan. This plan is not the plan that she has shared with others, especially her and Rob's family. She has this whole other plan, and it's kind of scary. At the same time, I find it so interesting that she has no fear... no hesitation... no issues whatsoever with her decision. Yeah, she has Rob to travel with her. But, he knows no Spanish. Needless to say, things will be difficult for him.
I am find that all around me, people are starting to really follow their dreams. This is such a cool thing to be a part of. One friend is graduating from Divinity School. One friend is planning a trip, that may as well be, around the world. Another friend is returning to school to become a teacher. These are all things that have been tucked away in our brains forever. So, why now? Why the sudden change of heart to follow what we have been tucking away for years and years? The simple answer... we have nothing to lose.
New goal: I want to have my Oasis application in by November 1st. I spent over two hours trying to call the London office last Friday. To my disappointment, I wasn't able to reach them on my cell phone. I have to find someone with a land line who would be willing to let me make this call. (You have to love SunCom!!) The reason for this decision is that I am having some insecurities about the application process. I have a lot of questions that I need to have answered by the Oasis folks. I am trying to get the ball rolling on the fund-raising thing.
Side note: Crystal and Rob's plane is leaving Raleigh at 5:30 pm on Tuesday 08/05/08. If you can spare a few minutes to pray for a safe trip for them, I am sure that they would appreciate it.
2 comments:
DUDE, what is the secret plan????
Have you seen the Back to the Future movies?
You know how, when Marty McFly ends up in the 1950s and he's the one to get hit by his mother's father's car and it screws up the whole future... and he has that photograph where his siblings start to disappear until he can get his parents back together?
(I know all of this because I just spend hours yesterday clarifying it for my seven year old-- it's very involved.)
My point is this:
Once you get on that plane-- post-application, post-fundraising-- all of the imaginary not-yet-taken-polaroids you had of your future will fade away. They will be blank. You will have thrown a huge wrench into the machine that is Predictability.
India, and your experience there, will open up doors you cannot conceive of yet. You don't even have the knowledge and resources to deal with what happens next. This is why these things take Courage.
And that is a Good Thing.
Fight the fear of the unknown with the trust that you will still be you: growing ever. But with all of your infinite past selves pushing you along.
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