One Life... And Other Stuff

SUCCESS!!! I have managed to quit one of my jobs. This is a wonderful day. Not only have I quit, but I can afford to quit. I received my yearly raise letter. It was a great letter. I am receiving al most double what I was expecting. YAY!!! (Lilo and Zrbrt... I will make a special trip just to bring you treats.)

It's been a crazy couple of days. I got a vacation, which is always a good thing. I got a lot of sun. A LOT OF SUN. I am reliving the sunburn of the beach trip with LankEB two weeks ago. But, I am relaxed and I got to see one of my favorite people. (Not you, Bon).

Sophie has gotten so big and she walks everywhere, and she giggles and has teeth and talks in this crazy baby language that nobody understands... maybe it's Czeck. She is like this tiny lady. It's insane. The coolest thing about Sophie is that she gives great hugs. If she lets you pick her up, (which she did) she looks at you for a second and then just lays her head on your shoulder and wraps her arms around your neck. It's the greatest feeling in the world. I'm glad she gives hugs. I look at Sophie, looking at Bonnie and my heart melts. I just want to eat them both up. (sorry I bit you, Bon.) Once I learn to use my camera, I will post a pic of Sophie (0r Topher, as I like to call her).

Erin and I had quite the experience in Tennessee at her shows. Let's just say that we won't be going back to Tennessee anytime soon. It was a weekend of music and fish frys... Oh the memories will haunt us for the rest of our lives. But good times were had by all. Being in Asheville always wakes up this part of me that dies when I come back to Raleigh. I know that it sounds sad, but I think that if I lived there that I would take this feeling for granted. I think that we must have walked about 20 miles in 3 days, give or take a few miles. Asheville was closed for this year's Belle Cherre (I don't think I spelled this right). All of downtown Asheville closes down to traffic so that vendors and musicians can gather. Apparently, it's the biggest street fair in the south.

We did have a chance to visit Jubilee Church on Sunday, but were disappointed by the lack of vegan blueberry waffles from the restaurant next door. I love Jubilee. I love to read their bulletin. The service was about 'love', always a good subject.

We divide our days by minutes and hours, calendars and clocks. We divide our lives by birthdays and anniversaries, victories and failures, milestones and memories, births and deaths. And we divide each day of our lives into job and recreation, eating and love-making, shopping and sleeping, cooking and driving, planning, partying, parenting, praying, and pooping.

But no matter how much we separate the various parts of our lives... no matter how much we pigeonhole our activities, thoughts, worries, joys and passions... what it finally comes down to is this: We each and all have but one life. No more, no less. One life. Chop it up, split it up, segment it any way you choose, it's all one. Every goof and glory, every crushing defeat and smashing success. It's all one. you and I and every bozo bouncing around on this Milky Way Marble have one life apiece. Only one. That's all you get, at least until you bow out. After that, God only knows.

Which means that whatever you do-- even the smallest thought, the most insignificant activity in the tiniest moment-- affects everything else. every time you lay your money down for whatever doodah you think you just gotta have, you are shifting and shaping every element of your one life. Your one precious life.
Every chat you have, every movie you watch, every lip you kiss, every bath you take; not to mention every grudge you hold, every kindness you share, every worry you clutch, every delight you enjoy... not one of these bits of you can be isolated. Every bit of it is part of you. It's not that every little bit touches every other little bit; cause we're not little bits. We're one.
~Howard Hanger

I've got some craziness going on around these parts lately. More on that later.

The Evergreen Social Justice Film Series is next week, and I have lots of work to do. I am hoping that I don't fall on my ass, as public speaking is not my thing (yeah, I know LankEB, it's not exactly public speaking). I have to say that I am pretty excited about sharing the info that I have on Human Trafficing. I hope that folks show up.

A Light At The End of The Tunnel

In the new information that I have received from Oasis, apparently there is the opportunity for a two year placement on the Human Trafficing Project. The downside (although not really) is that I may have to be placed in Bangladesh instead of India. I am okay with this. I know that I am being lead to work on this project.

More updates later.

Setting the World on Fire

"Some men just want to watch the world burn."
~Alfred the Butler (The Dark Knight)

I saw The Dark Knight the other evening with some friends. Great movie. This line really made me think. Every time some random quote makes me think and I get stuck on it, I absolutely have to write it down. I have gotten so that I can relate almost anything to the suffering in the world. I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

For example, I am quitting my part-time job because the people that I work with are completely negative all of the time. One of them hates that I am going to head over to India in hopes of working on the trafficing project, because 'we have problems in the U.S.' My question to her was, "well... what are you doing for the world?" I didn't get an answer.

The world is suffering. And while I don't expect every single person to be an advocate for change. I do expect respect and support from those who don't have the desire to make the changes themselves. I have family members who think this way also. It's very annoying and just plain ignorant.

Personally, I have watched the world burn long enough.

You will laugh at destruction and famine, and need not fear the beasts of the earth. ~Job 5:22

Trapped

Jesus came to free you. You need to let him do it. ~Matt Brown

I think that we forget that we were not put on this earth to just exist, but to live. I work all the time. At least I feel like I work all the time. I want to quit my jobs. Actually, only one of them. Ironically, it's the one that is supposed to be fun.

I need to keep my head on straight. I need to realize that I have goals ahead of me that are going to be lived out. I need to keep my priorities straight. I am covered and challenged with distractions these days. It's getting harder and harder to keep them at arm's length.

The truth is that I am completely terrified of failing at this project. The closer the time comes to turn in applications, defend my decisions, speak to folks at Oasis about placement... the more freaked out I get. I think that at this point, I just want to run away from home.

I am not feeling my freedom. I know that it's out there. I just don't know where to find it. It makes me sad and annoyed that I have to give up my life and create a new one to discover true freedom. We are held down by bills, obligations, debt, family, friends. Negativity is everywhere. Negativity is keeping me captive. I need to break the chains.

Big Excitement

When I started to plan my pilgrimage, a few months ago, I contacted as many people in the anti-trafficing movement that I could find. I couldn't even estimate as to how many emails I sent out. The other day, I was contacted by someone involved with the trafficing project. This is a huge deal, as it could lead to actual employment in the organization. Very exciting. I let this guy know of my intention to join Oasis India, and am hoping to hear back from him soon concerning other opportunities.

I hope
For love, joy and laughter
I hope
We'll have more than we'll ever need
I hope
We'll have more happy ever afters
I hope
We can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery
I hope, I hope
~Dixie Chicks

(I may have just lost a little respect for myself by quoting the Dixie Chicks.)