Thursday, April 24, 2008

Mumbai vs. Hell

I have been doing my homework on what Oasis India and OasisUK do. How they help the world at large. I am completely enthralled with this organization. It seems that I may have some traveling, and purpose, in my future endeavors. EXCITING!!! Check them out: http://www.oasisindia.org/ and http://www.oasisuk.org/

I decided to head down to Barnes & Nobles the other day to do some light reading about India, particularly Mumbai. It turns out that the year round temperature of Mumbai is equivalent to the year round temperature of Hell, but with 10,000% more humidity. I hate heat. I think that even more than I hate heat, I despise humidity to a degree that is almost ridiculous. Humidity is not my friend. The thought of living in year round heat and humidity is absolutely ridiculous to me. But, I still want to go. What's up with that?? Have I mentioned that I hate humidity??

I got to have a nice long talk with Michelle (missionary who lives in India) yesterday. I told her about my fears of giving up this life that I have become so comfortable in. She understood everything that I had said to her. I just love this chick. I talked to her about her position at the Life Center and about living in India. She lives in a village about 2 1/2 hours away from Mumbai. So, apparently the humidity isn't as bad because she is more in the mountains. (Oh, the glimmer of hope is shining through)

I have been doing a lot of praying about what I would like to do with my life. I am 34 years old, and I feel as if I have not lived a life of purpose at all. I am kind of just going through the motions of living. I am thrusting my efforts, passion, energy, and love into the lives of others around me. I get something out of this, but they won't need/want me around forever.

It would be so easy for me to go to India and work with kids. For some reason children have always been drawn to me. Perhaps, because I am like a big kid myself. Or the fact that I don't talk down to them, I just treat them like really short grown-ups. I don't know why, but doing something easy is not appealing to me at all. I want a challenge. I want to have to earn the trust and love of others. I want to know that I am making a difference. I can always fall back on the kid thing. There will always be kids somewhere needing something.

Delving deeper into what I am considering a challenge, I have been doing a lot of research on the Anti-Trafficing Movement in various countries. Ironically, the Oasis India project doesn't have positions posted on their website, that I have been able to pin-point. While talking to Michelle, I realized that there is a huge need for "rehabbing" women... giving them a leg-up into a society that has kept them down. I love this idea. I am passionate about this idea.

Doing the prayer thing like I didn't even know I could.

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence
~Alanis Morrisette

2 comments:

Elaine said...

Heehee, who would've ever thought that going to India to work with kids would be your FALL BACK plan! you rock my world. And the need for rehabbing women is intense. Have you ever worked with sexual assault survivors before? I volunteered for 2 years and would be happy to talk with you about it. See, I need to be throwing this level of energy into my dreams, which makes you my HERO

Kate said...

First of all, awesome song choice. Secondly, your passion for this is amazing. God will use this immense desire to help that you have in amazing ways, just be patient. I have trouble with the patience part. But I'm confident He'll show you where to go and what to do.